on february 17th my mom came to live with us..suffering from dementia...she was under hospice because we thought her days were numbered..but it wasn't to be...over one year later she is still here...awaking each morning with not much to look forward to..except the love and friendship of her family and caregivers.
well hot as it has been..we still get out and mom loves to sit by the lily pond..and fill it with water...seems relaxing to her...but she can't see the fish...
i know she looks old..but honestly...its because she doesn't have her teeth in..let this be a lesson to all of us..take care of our teeth..once her teeth are in..she becomes 20 years younger..but just look at her red socks...her red heart shirt and the bow in her hair...she really looks cute
some mornings mom is tired..doesn't sleep well at night..and falls asleep in her cereal!!!
she received some beautiful flowers for mothers day from ken and carolyn..and we took some of
them out as they got older but the roses lasted..and she loves them. we put them on her table..
and she smells them all day! these little things she understands!
the bow in her hair..the cute socks each week..thats cassie. the hospice caregiver that comes 3 days a week to give her a bath..always matching her clothes..putting cream on her face and bows in her hair. this here is a flower plant for mothers day!!
moms mind is going going and some days i swear..gone..but then...the next day its all new and we start all over and we never know where she will be..here..there ..and everywhere. right now as i write this she is talking to someone...asking them to call their friends to come over for a party...' go ahead call' she says to whomever! I would love to know these ' friends' of hers..but at least..it keeps her happy.
Now I hear her telling them to bring pickles!
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED..HERE SHE IS. GOING TO BE 97 AND POSING FOR HER EASTER PICTURE...THATS GERI, GEORGIE (GERI'S MOM)..ME..AND MOM!
I DECIDED SHE NEEDED AN EASTER OUTFIT..SO NEW DRESS, SHOES, SOCKS AND HAT..AND SHE KNEW..KNEW..IT WAS EASTER!! I FIGURED ...HOW MANY TIMES DID HER AND DAD DRESS 4 CHILDREN WITH NEW CLOTHES AT EASTER..EXPENSE WASN'T THE ISSUE...IT WAS ALSO OUR SUMMER CHURCH WARDROBE..BUT THEY ALWAYS MANAGED THIS EXPENSIVE AFFAIR..AND I JUST DECIDED IT WAS HER TURN!!! EVEN TOOK HER FRIDAY TO GET HER HAIR DONE..CAR RIDE..SIT AT SALON..AND SHE WAS ALL DOLLED UP!!! SHE EVEN FELT LIKE IT..SAID ' I FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN'. GOOD MOM.
THIS WAS THE BEAUTIFUL PLACE SETTING GERI DESIGNED FOR OUR EASTER DINNER..JUST SOOOO PRETTY..SO FESTIVE..SO ARTISTIC..WE LOVED IT!! GERI HAS MANY TALENTS!!!
AND MOM IN HER EASTER BONNET. FIGURED WITH TEMPS GOING TO 95 AND BEING OUTSIDE AT JOHNNYS AROUND THE POOL SHE NEEDED COVERAGE. SHE SAW IT HANGING IN HER ROOM FOR A WEEK AND COULD NOT WAIT TO WEAR IT!!
MEANWHILE..BACK AT THE RANCH..ABBIE SAYS..I JUST STAYED HOME. WAY TOO MUCH TROUBLE AND ACTIVITY FOR ME...I HAD THE BEST SEAT WHIL THEY WERE GONE!
AND
THIS IS OUR LITLE NEIGHBOR ..BROOKLYN SHARING A MOMENT WITH MOM..WE GAVE HER SOME ITEMS FROM THE STUDIO THAT WE DIDNT' NEED AND THE CHILDREN ARE SO FRIENDLY AND NICE TO MOM. THEY WALK BY AND SAY ' HI MOLLIE'...SHE LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN. WE GO NEXT DOOR AND WATCH THEM WORK OUT FOR THERE TUMBLING LESSON..AND MOM CLAPS AND CLAPS. ITS AMAZING..THAT SHE UNDERSTANDS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. SOMETIMES SHE JUST SITS LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW..SAYS ' I CAN'T SEE'..AND THEN..TAKE HER NEXT DOOR TO THEIR GARAGE WHERE THEY WORKOUT AND SHE IS LAUGHING AND CLAPPING!!
THESE ARE LONG DAYS FOR MOM. WE TRY TO KEEP HER BUSY..WILL SEND SOME PICTURES OF HER EMPTYING DISHWASHER, FOLDING CLOTHES ETC...NEXT TIME!!!!
OK. BIG MISTAKE. I THOUGHT I WAS ON MY 'AWINGANDAPEAR' BLOG..NAMED AFTER WHAT MOM USED TO SAY ...'A WING AND A PEAR...WHICH IS MY PERSONAL BLOG FOR FRIENDS ETC ON WHATS GOING ON..ART...VACATIONS ETC...BUT INSTEAD..I WAS ON MOMS DEMENTIA BLOG...SORRY SORRY. PROBABLY BORED YOU...SO HERE IS MOM!!! AND THATS HER APRON FROM KIRSTIE!
WHIS WAS MOM READING SOME OF HER VALENTINE CARDS..AND HER VALENTINE BEAR...CAUGHT HER WITH HER EYES CLOSED..SORRY...HARD TO GET GOOD PICTURES OF HER ANYMORE. AND I MUST ADMIT..I DONT' TAKE AS MANY. MOSTLY I USE MY IPHONE FOR VIDEO'S OF HER..TALKING ETC. WISH I HAD THIS 14 YEARS AGO SO I COULD HEAR MY DAD!!
BUT SHE LOVED THE FLOWERS FROM MY BROTHER KENNY AND CAROLYN...LOVED THEM. GOT HER TO SMILE. THEY SAY DEMENTIA PATIENTS FORGET HOW TO SMILE..ITS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE MUSCLES ETC...BUT I GOT A GOOD ONE HERE...
SO WHAT WAS SHE DOING...HELPING ME WRAP SOMETHING. I WILL TAKE A PICTURE NEXT TIME OF HER PUTTING SILVERWARE AWAY. WE TRY SO HARD TO FIND LITTLE THINGS FOR HER..WE HAVE TO KEEP HER MIND BUSY OR SHE GOES TO NEVER/NEVER/LAND!!! SHE DRIES THE GLASSES FROM THE DISHWASHER AND PUTS AWAY THE SILVERWARE...AND WHATEVER ELSE WE CAN FIND. SHE LOVES TO BE IN THE KITCHEN, BUT FOR THOSE WHO KNOW HER..YOU KNOW THATS WHERE SHE ALWAYS WAS..COOKING, BAKING......
I DID THIS PIECE OF ART FOR HER. I FOUND THIS LARGE OLD OLD METAL HEART AT A THRIFT STORE..AND USED SOME AIRBRUSH PAINTS ( DONE BY HAND) AND SOME PUMICE GEL..AND MADE THIS FOR HER. I HAD HER IN THE STUDIO WITH ME SO I COULD REMEMBER US DOING THIS..BUT ACTUALLY SHE WASN'T MENTALLY THERE...SHE KEPT SAYING ' WHY AM I HERE..WHEN AM I LEAVING...WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE..ETC. ETC...BUT..I KEPT PAINTING ANYWAY!!!
NEXT UPDATE I WILL GET MORE PICTURES OF MOM. ITS HARD. SHE WONT' LOOK AT THE CAMERA..AND SHE BARELY SMILES...LATELY ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS 'GO HOME AND SEE MA AND PA"...THATS WHAT SHE SAYS. AND THEN ITS ALWAYS ' DO I NEED A COAT..THEY ARE COMING FOR ME". I SAY..WHO MOM..SHE SAYS ' THEY'.
EVERY DAY WITH HER IS A PRESENT...THIS HAS BEEN A LONG JOURNEY FOR HER...BUT SHE GETS OUT OF BED EVERY DAY ( CAN'T WALK..WE GET HER UP) AND SHE FACES THE DAY...6 OF 7 SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME IN THE MORNING, BUT AT NIGHT SHE USUALLY DOES...WHEN SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME SHE SAYS ' I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME..BUT I KNOW YOUR FACE....SO I WILL CALL YOU SWEETIEPIE!
NOT SURE HOW PICTURES GOT OUT OF ORDER...I AM REALLY NOT GOOD AT THIS...
THIS PICTURE HERE IS MY LATEST WHICH I AM GOING TO KEEP BECAUSE I LIKE IT...
THIS IS WATERCOLOR/ACRYLIC....I PUT THIS ON MOMS BLOG BECAUSE..SHE ALSO LIKED IT. SHE PAYS LITTLE ATTENTION TO THE ART I DO..DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE IT ON THE WALL..BUT THIS ONE..FOR WHATEVER REASON CAUGHT HER EYE...SAYS ' JUDY DID YOU MAKE THIS? ITS SO PRETTY". THAT IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TIME SHE HAS ACKNOWLEDGED MY WORK...SO ITS A KEEPER!!!
WELL LUCKILY I DO WRITE IN MY JOURNAL OR I WOULD NEVER KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE..DID..WENT..WHATEVER. HERE WE ARE BAKING COOKIES FOR CHRISTMAS..SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY AND IT WAS ...UM...3 MONTHS AGO! THATS SANDY, CHERYL, AND GAYLENE! GOODY GOODY YUM YUM
COULDN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS SO GAVE DANNY HIS NEW GUITAR...A RESONATOR ON THE 23RD...WANTED TO HEAR HIM PLAY IT BEFORE HE WENT HOME AFTER CHRISTMAS...WAY TOO SOON, WE LOVE HAVING HIM VISIT!
THEN..AFTER CHRISTMAS WE WENT FOR JUST A SHORT VACATION TO HUNTINGTON BEACH..AND IT WAS WONDERFUL WEATHER. SAT OUTSIDE AT A CAFE..AND OF COURSE...FLAPJACK JOINED US. HE IS A GREAT COMPANION..QUIET..EATS LITTLE..AND ASKS FOR NO MONEY!!!
AND..STOPPED AT OUR CHRISTMAS TREE AT FASHION ISLAND. BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS, EXCEPT FOR THE YEAR IT WAS TOO WINDY TO PUT THE HUGH TREE UP...MANY HAPPY MEMORIES...
BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE, BY END OF JANUARY..MOM AND I WERE SITTING OUTSIDE IN THE COURTYARD EATING..SUNNY...HAT ON MOM...BEAUTIFUL DAY..BEAUTIFUL MEMORY
MOMS CAREGIVER KERSTIE GAVE MOM A NEW APRON..SO CUTE WITH A BOW ETC AND THIS WAS A FLOWER FROM MOMS FLOWERS AT CHRISTMAS..GREEN..AND STILL ALIVE A MONTH LATER.
WELL I NEED TO BLOG..WRITE..WHATEVER..MORE. TIME FLIES. I DONT' GET MUCH TIME AT THE COMPUTER OR IN THE STUDIO..BUT NEXT UPDATE WILL SHOW SOME OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING..AND MORE OF MOM!!!
WELL WE HAVE HAD SOME MOMENTS..BUT THIS IS MOM IN THE MORNING..FIRST THING. SHE WAKES IN A WONDERFUL DISPOSITION..TO START THE DAY. I MARVEL AT THIS SINCE...WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO...NOT MUCH...AS THE DAY GOES ON..SHE TIRES...SHE DOES HAVE MOMENTS WHERE SHE REALIZES...THIS LIFE IS TERRIBLE...AND SHE HAS MOMENTS WHERE SHE FORGETS THAT SHE HAS NOT WALKED IN MONTHS....SHE WILL SAY ' WHY CAN'T I WALK, I WALKED YESTERDAY...
THIS VIDEO TAKES A WHILE TO LOAD..SO BE PATIENT...
SHE SEEMS UNHAPPY HERE, BUT I FIND ITS HARD FOR HER TO SMILE. NURSE SAYS, THEY FORGET HOW TO SMILE...THEIR MOUTH JUST DOESN'T DO IT..BUT SHE HAD A BOW IN HER HAIR...A NEW DRESS ON..AND SHE SAID SHE FELT LIKE A ' SCHOOLGIRL'....JUST DOESN'T LOOK IT UH...........
KRISTIE HER CAREGIVER BOUGHT HER THIS BEAUTIFUL APRON.MOM LOVED IT AND SAID IT LOOKED LIKE A DRESS. I DID A VIDEO OF HER SEEING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME BUT DIDN'T DOWNLOAD IT SINCE I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU..THE VIEWER TO DOWNLOAD..BUT SHE KEPT SAYING ' HOW BEAUTIFUL'
CAN YOU BELIEVE. HOLIDAY AND THIS IS THE WEATHER. SO WE DECIDED TO HAVE BREAKFAST OUTSIDE. FIRST SHE WAS HOT. THEN SHE WAS COLD. THIS PICTURE SEEMS SO PERFECT..BUT SHE WASN'T. MY IDEAS SOMETIMES JUST DONT WORK OUT THE WAY I PLANNED...BUT I AM PLANNING WITH A DEMENTIA PATIENT. SHE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY WE WERE OUTSIDE...' WHERE AM I..WHY ARE WE HERE ETC...BUT WHAT THE HECK..I TRIED AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE AND WE DID STAY FOR AN HOUR!!!
LATELY MOM GETS VERY UPSET WHEN LEFT ALONE..BUT NOT REALLY ALONE. JUST CAN'T SEE ME. I CAN BE RIGHT BEHIND HER WORKING AT THE SINK AND SHE WILL YELL OUT ' HELP I AM ALONE'. THERE IS VERY LITTLE PEACE IN THIS HOUSE BUT THEN..MOM CANT FIND PEACE WITHIN .
SHE HAS SOME MEDS JUST FOR CONFUSION. THEY DO NOT MAKE HER SLEEPY AND THEY SEEM TO WORK. WE STARTED THEM AT 2 AND 4. BUT NOW..3 MONTHS LATER..THEY ARE IN WITH HER BREAKFAST MEDS AT 11..AND THEN AGAIN AT 4. THEY DO HELP HER WITH HER ANXIETY...BUT SHE SLEEPS AT NIGHT BECAUSE THESE MEDS DONT' MAKE HER SLEEP DURING THE DAY.
SO...UNTIL NEXT TIME...THIS IS WHERE MOLLIE AND I ARE ON THIS JOURNEY.
ON PREVIOUS BLOG UPDATE I TRIED A VIDEO OF MOM BUT WASN'T SURE IT WOULD WORK..IT DID. SO HERE IS THE VIDEO OF HER WITH HER NEW APRON!
BUT...AGAIN, IT LOADED TWICE. SO. BACK TO THE MAC STORE!!
ANYWAY AT LEAST NOW I KNOW I CAN SEND VIDEO'S AND YOU CAN REALLY GET TO KNOW MOLLIE!!! MOM....
AND...WATCHING THE OTHER VIDEO IT WAS OF HER GETTING HAIR DONE..NOT HER PERM..BUT SHE DID GET A PERM AFTER THAT..AND YES, SHE WAS SO GOOD. N O CONFUSION..NO TRYING TO LEAVE....
SO LESSON HERE IS...ITS NEVER THE WRONG TIME TO TAKE TIME AT THE BEAUTY SHOP!
well I added a video for the first time..lets see if it works...if it doesn'..well we will try next time.
i thought I added one...( new at this) but seems two...came up.
one is of her trip to the hairdresser for perm. this was about 3 months ago..doubt if we could do it now, but her hair is soooooo curly..and soft now..and grown out..she looks like a little lamb with her curls... an amazing day..she knew she was at the beauty shop and loved it...some things never change uh?
DECORATED HER LITTLE TABLE FOR OCTOBER..SHE DOES NOTICE IT...CALLS THE TEDDY ' MY TEDDY'. SHE STILL FEEDS HERSELF..BUT IS NOT EATING AS MUCH
SO PRETTY. THIS LONG SLEEVE IS GOOD FOR THE FALL. SO GOING THRU HER CLOTHES TO CHANGE THEM WITH THE SEASON. SHE LOVED THIS AS SOON AS I PUT IT ON HER...SHE DOES NOTICE HER CLOTHES AND HOW THEY FEEL AND SHE EVEN NOTICES CLOTHES THAT WERE HER FAVORITES LONG AGO...
LAST YEAR I GAVE AWAY ALOT OF WINTER CLOTHES BUT JUST COULDN'T PART WITH SOME OF HER FAVORITES..LUCKILY, BECAUSE...HERE SHE IS..ANOTHER SEASON AND SHE IS HERE TO ENJOY THEM.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. ITS AN APRON. FOR BREAST CANCER. GORGEOUS. GIVEN TO HER BY HER CAREGIVER KERSTIE. KERSTIE SAW IT AND SAID OH MOLLIE WOULD LOOK SO CUTE. WE TOOK MOVIES OF HER OPENING AND SEEING IT, AND IF THESE VIDEOS COME OUT, I WILL SHOW THAT ONE NEXT TIME.
WHAT I FIND SO AMAZING IS HOW SHE KNOWS WHEN SOMETHING IS NEW...HOW SHE LOVES FEELING GOOD IN THE CLOTHES..AND LOVES IT WHEN YOU TELL HER HOW PRETTY SHE IS.......BECAUSE....MOST DAYS SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARE...DOESN'T EVEN LOOK UP ( AS YOU WILL SEE IN SOME PICTURES) DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU TELL HER AND .IS DOWNCAST MOST OF THE TIME...
BUT...ASK HER TO PLAY CARDS...PUT A NEW OUTFIT ON HER...OR FIX HER HAIR..AND SHE AWAKENS FROM THIS JOURNEY....
SO HERE IS THE 2ND VIDEO.SINCE THEY ARE DOWNLOADED I DONT' KNOW HOW TO SEE THEM AND THEN CANCEL THEM. TOLD YOU I WAS NEW AT THIS. BUT WILL FIND OUT!!!
I HAVE TAKEN SOOOOOOO MANY VIDEO'S OF HER WITH MY IPHONE. I JUST TURN IT ON...AND ALOT OF TALKING ON THE AUDIO PART OF MY IPHONE...WHEN I HAVE TIME I WILL DOWNLOAD ALL OF THEM ONTO A CD AND DVD...AMAZING WHAT WE CAN HAVE OF OUR LOVED ONES. WISH I HAD THIS WITH MY DAD!!!
YESTERDAY MOM DIDN'T KNOW ME. CALLS OUT ALL THESE NAMES. BUT KNOWS MY FACE. SHE ALSO CALLS FOR HER SISTER EDITH...BUT I HAVE PICTURES OF ALL HER CHILDREN ALL OVER HER ROOM. I WILL GET THEM..ONE BY ONE..AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW THEM. EVEN WILL TALK TO MY SISTER CAROL AND THEN SAY ' WHO WAS THAT'? SLOWLY BUT SURELY HER MIND IS LEAVING...SOME DAYS SHE EVEN STARTS TO CRY. I SAY WHY ARE YOU CRYING. SHE WILL SAY I DON'T KNOW! I THINK EVEN THO SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT...DEEPLY SHE UNDERSTANDS SHE IS TIRED OF ALL THIS.
THEN. THERE ARE DAYS SHE WILL BE VERY CALM AND SAY ' JUDY, HOW CAN WE END THIS...I WANT TO GO HOME'.
MOST DAYS WE DIVERT HER ATTENTION. SHE NOW HELPS EMPTY THE SILVERWARE IN THE DISHWASHER ( IF VIDEO WORKS I WILL SEND ONE). SHE FOLDS TOWELS...SHE STIRS THE JELLO...SHE DUSTS SMALL ITEMS...AND SHE DOES HER FOOT EXERCISES. WE ORCHESTRATE ALL THIS...JUST TO KEEP HER MIND BUSY...A BUSY MIND IS A QUIET MIND...BUT IT TAKES ALOT OF TIME...ATTENTION...AND SHE WOULD NOT GET THIS ONE/ONE IN A HOME......
I FEEL EVERY SINGLE CAREGIVER WILL ALWAYS HAVE MOLLIE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM WHEN SHE IS GONE...RANDA AND LOIS HAVE BEEN WITH HER FOR A YEAR..OR MORE...THEY LOVE HER. LOIS TOOK CARE OF HER MOM UNTIL SHE DIED 4 YEARS AGO..THEY TREAT HER LIKE THEIR OWN.
SO UNTIL NEXT TIME...IF YOU ARE ON THIS JOURNEY WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE...REMEMBER YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT...THERE WILL BE MANY DOORS OPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU HAVE COMPLETED THESE CONFUSED BUT LOVING..HOURS!
