MOM MARCHES ON

WELL WE HAVE HAD SOME MOMENTS..BUT THIS IS MOM IN THE MORNING..FIRST THING.  SHE WAKES IN A WONDERFUL DISPOSITION..TO START THE DAY. I MARVEL AT THIS SINCE...WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO...NOT MUCH...AS THE DAY GOES ON..SHE TIRES...SHE DOES HAVE MOMENTS WHERE SHE REALIZES...THIS LIFE IS TERRIBLE...AND SHE HAS MOMENTS WHERE SHE FORGETS THAT SHE HAS NOT WALKED IN MONTHS....SHE WILL SAY ' WHY CAN'T I WALK, I WALKED YESTERDAY...

THIS VIDEO TAKES A WHILE TO LOAD..SO BE PATIENT...

SHE SEEMS UNHAPPY HERE, BUT I FIND ITS HARD FOR HER TO SMILE. NURSE SAYS, THEY FORGET HOW TO SMILE...THEIR MOUTH JUST DOESN'T DO IT..BUT SHE HAD A BOW IN HER HAIR...A NEW DRESS ON..AND SHE SAID SHE FELT LIKE A  ' SCHOOLGIRL'....JUST DOESN'T LOOK IT UH...........

 KRISTIE HER CAREGIVER BOUGHT HER THIS BEAUTIFUL APRON.MOM LOVED IT AND SAID IT LOOKED LIKE A DRESS.  I DID A VIDEO OF HER SEEING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME BUT DIDN'T DOWNLOAD IT SINCE I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU..THE VIEWER TO DOWNLOAD..BUT SHE KEPT SAYING ' HOW BEAUTIFUL'

CAN YOU BELIEVE. HOLIDAY AND THIS IS THE WEATHER. SO WE DECIDED TO HAVE BREAKFAST OUTSIDE.  FIRST SHE WAS HOT.  THEN SHE WAS COLD.  THIS PICTURE SEEMS SO PERFECT..BUT SHE WASN'T.  MY IDEAS SOMETIMES JUST DONT WORK OUT THE WAY I PLANNED...BUT I AM PLANNING WITH A DEMENTIA PATIENT. SHE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY WE WERE OUTSIDE...' WHERE AM I..WHY ARE WE HERE ETC...BUT WHAT THE HECK..I TRIED AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE AND WE DID STAY FOR AN HOUR!!!

LATELY MOM GETS VERY UPSET WHEN LEFT ALONE..BUT NOT REALLY ALONE. JUST CAN'T SEE ME. I CAN BE RIGHT BEHIND HER WORKING AT THE SINK AND SHE WILL YELL OUT ' HELP I AM ALONE'.  THERE IS VERY LITTLE PEACE IN THIS HOUSE BUT THEN..MOM CANT FIND PEACE WITHIN .

SHE HAS SOME MEDS JUST FOR CONFUSION.  THEY DO NOT MAKE HER SLEEPY AND THEY SEEM TO WORK. WE STARTED THEM AT 2 AND 4.  BUT NOW..3 MONTHS LATER..THEY ARE IN WITH HER BREAKFAST MEDS AT 11..AND THEN AGAIN AT 4.  THEY DO HELP HER WITH HER ANXIETY...BUT SHE SLEEPS AT NIGHT BECAUSE THESE MEDS DONT' MAKE HER SLEEP DURING THE DAY.

SO...UNTIL NEXT TIME...THIS IS WHERE MOLLIE AND I ARE ON THIS JOURNEY.

WOW. IT WORKED

ON PREVIOUS BLOG UPDATE I TRIED A VIDEO OF MOM BUT WASN'T SURE IT WOULD WORK..IT DID. SO HERE IS THE VIDEO OF HER WITH HER NEW APRON!

BUT...AGAIN, IT LOADED TWICE.   SO. BACK TO THE MAC STORE!!

ANYWAY AT LEAST NOW I KNOW I CAN SEND VIDEO'S AND YOU CAN REALLY GET TO KNOW MOLLIE!!!   MOM....

AND...WATCHING THE OTHER VIDEO IT WAS OF HER GETTING HAIR DONE..NOT HER PERM..BUT SHE DID GET A PERM AFTER THAT..AND YES, SHE WAS SO GOOD. N O CONFUSION..NO TRYING TO LEAVE....

SO LESSON HERE IS...ITS NEVER THE WRONG TIME TO TAKE TIME AT THE BEAUTY SHOP!

Fall is here..to mom its just another day

well I added a video for the first time..lets see if it works...if it doesn'..well we will try next time.

i thought I added one...( new at this) but seems two...came up.

one is of her trip to the hairdresser for perm. this was about 3 months ago..doubt if we could do it now, but her hair is soooooo curly..and soft now..and grown out..she looks like a little lamb with her curls...  an amazing day..she knew she was at the beauty shop and loved it...some things never change uh?

DECORATED HER LITTLE TABLE FOR OCTOBER..SHE DOES NOTICE IT...CALLS THE TEDDY ' MY TEDDY'.  SHE STILL FEEDS HERSELF..BUT IS NOT EATING AS MUCH

SO PRETTY. THIS LONG SLEEVE IS GOOD FOR THE FALL. SO GOING THRU HER CLOTHES TO CHANGE THEM WITH THE SEASON. SHE LOVED THIS AS SOON AS I PUT IT ON HER...SHE DOES NOTICE HER CLOTHES AND HOW THEY FEEL AND SHE EVEN NOTICES CLOTHES THAT WERE HER FAVORITES LONG AGO...

LAST YEAR I GAVE AWAY ALOT OF WINTER CLOTHES BUT JUST COULDN'T PART WITH SOME OF HER FAVORITES..LUCKILY, BECAUSE...HERE SHE IS..ANOTHER SEASON AND SHE IS HERE TO ENJOY THEM.

 CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS.  ITS AN APRON.  FOR BREAST CANCER. GORGEOUS. GIVEN TO HER BY HER CAREGIVER KERSTIE. KERSTIE SAW IT AND SAID OH MOLLIE WOULD LOOK SO CUTE.  WE TOOK MOVIES OF HER OPENING AND SEEING IT, AND IF THESE VIDEOS COME OUT, I WILL SHOW THAT ONE NEXT TIME.

WHAT I FIND SO AMAZING IS HOW SHE KNOWS WHEN SOMETHING IS NEW...HOW SHE LOVES FEELING GOOD IN THE CLOTHES..AND LOVES IT WHEN YOU TELL HER HOW PRETTY SHE IS.......BECAUSE....MOST DAYS SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARE...DOESN'T EVEN LOOK UP ( AS YOU WILL SEE IN SOME PICTURES)  DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU TELL HER AND .IS DOWNCAST MOST OF THE TIME...
BUT...ASK HER TO PLAY CARDS...PUT A NEW OUTFIT ON HER...OR FIX HER HAIR..AND SHE AWAKENS FROM THIS JOURNEY....

SO HERE IS THE 2ND VIDEO.SINCE THEY ARE DOWNLOADED I DONT' KNOW HOW TO SEE THEM AND THEN CANCEL THEM.   TOLD YOU I WAS NEW AT THIS.  BUT WILL FIND OUT!!!

I HAVE TAKEN SOOOOOOO MANY VIDEO'S OF HER WITH MY IPHONE.  I JUST TURN IT ON...AND ALOT OF TALKING ON THE AUDIO PART OF MY IPHONE...WHEN I HAVE TIME I WILL DOWNLOAD ALL OF THEM ONTO A CD AND DVD...AMAZING WHAT WE CAN HAVE OF OUR LOVED ONES.  WISH I HAD THIS WITH MY DAD!!!

YESTERDAY MOM DIDN'T KNOW ME.  CALLS OUT ALL THESE NAMES.  BUT KNOWS MY FACE.  SHE ALSO CALLS FOR  HER SISTER EDITH...BUT I HAVE PICTURES OF ALL HER CHILDREN ALL OVER HER ROOM.  I WILL GET THEM..ONE BY ONE..AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW THEM. EVEN WILL TALK TO MY SISTER CAROL AND THEN SAY ' WHO WAS THAT'?  SLOWLY BUT SURELY HER MIND IS LEAVING...SOME DAYS SHE EVEN STARTS TO CRY.  I SAY WHY ARE YOU CRYING.  SHE WILL SAY I DON'T KNOW!  I THINK EVEN THO SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT...DEEPLY SHE UNDERSTANDS SHE IS TIRED OF ALL THIS.

THEN. THERE ARE DAYS SHE WILL BE VERY CALM AND SAY ' JUDY, HOW CAN WE END THIS...I WANT TO GO HOME'.

MOST DAYS WE DIVERT HER ATTENTION.  SHE NOW HELPS EMPTY THE SILVERWARE IN THE DISHWASHER ( IF VIDEO WORKS I WILL SEND ONE).  SHE FOLDS TOWELS...SHE STIRS THE JELLO...SHE DUSTS SMALL ITEMS...AND SHE DOES HER FOOT EXERCISES.  WE ORCHESTRATE ALL THIS...JUST TO KEEP HER MIND BUSY...A BUSY MIND IS A QUIET MIND...BUT IT TAKES ALOT OF TIME...ATTENTION...AND SHE WOULD NOT GET THIS ONE/ONE  IN A HOME......

I FEEL EVERY SINGLE CAREGIVER WILL ALWAYS HAVE MOLLIE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM WHEN SHE IS GONE...RANDA AND LOIS HAVE BEEN WITH HER FOR A YEAR..OR MORE...THEY LOVE HER.  LOIS TOOK CARE OF HER MOM UNTIL SHE DIED 4 YEARS AGO..THEY TREAT HER LIKE THEIR OWN.

SO UNTIL NEXT TIME...IF YOU ARE ON THIS JOURNEY WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE...REMEMBER YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT...THERE WILL BE MANY DOORS OPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU HAVE COMPLETED THESE CONFUSED BUT LOVING..HOURS!

AUGUST ...NOW ITS OCTOBER 24, MANY CHANGES

LOTS HAS HAPPENED TO MOM SINCE AUGUST.  THIS IS HER READING ( LOOKING) AT ONE OF HER BIRTHDAY CARDS..FROM KENNY AND CAROLYN.  SHE DOESN'T REALLY EVEN UNDERSTAND WHO THEY ARE..BUT..THEN WHEN YOU ASK HER THE NAMES OF HER CHILDREN...SHE NAMES THEM ALL IN ORDER.

 HER 96 BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS GREAT. WENT TO A RESTAURANT. AT 6PM THAT NIGHT WHEN I ASKED HER IF SHE WANTED MORE CAKE..SHE SAID WHAT WAS THE CAKE FOR.  ?  MY BIRTHDAY? WELL HOW DID YOU CELEBRATE WITHOUT ME???

SO 3 HOURS IN A RESTAURANT, BALLOONS, FAMILY..GONE.

MY SADILITY GROUP AT CHURCH CELEBRATES OCTOBER AS THE MONTH OF OUR MOTHER THE VIRGIN MARY..AND WE GET TO BRING HOME THE BLESSED STATUE FOR ONE NIGHT...SO I PUT IT IN MOMS ROOM BY HER BED.  IT WAS ABOUT 9PM SO MOM IS JUST ABOUT ASLEEP BUT WE SAID THE ROSARY ANYWAY.  GREAT MEMORY ( FOR ME)! 

 MOM IS SITTING AT HER TABLE.  ITS DECORATED FOR HALLOWEEN, WITH HER PUMPKIN, HER WITCH PLACEMAT AND HER PUMPKIN TEDDY..SOME OF WHICH SHE REMEMBERS IS HERS.  THERE ARE TIMES I PICK UP THE ITEMS TO WASH THE PLACEMAT AND SHE WILL SAY ' HEY THOSE ARE MINE'.  AMAZING.

BUT AS YOU CAN SEE ITS MORNING AND SHE LOOKS HALF AWAKE, BUT LATELY THATS ABOUT THE MOST SHE OPENS HER EYES.  SHE TALKS..SHE IS VERY SWEET IN THE MORNING..SAYING GOOD MORNING BUT...SHE SEEMS IN A DAZE..TIRED...JUST NOT REALLY UP FOR THE DAY!!

SHE WILL TELL YOU ' I DO THE SAME THING EVERY DAY.NOTHING.'.  I SAY NO, YOU PLAYED CARDS TODAY, WENT FOR A WALK IN YOUR WHEELCHAIR, HELPED UNLOAD THE DISHWASHER'.  SHE SAYS I DID???  THEN THERE ARE DAYS WHEN YOU SAY WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY AND SHE WILL SAY ' I WENT TO CHICAGO..AND THEN DROVE ALL THE WAY HOME..SO I AM TIRED'.

EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT.

TODAY IS OCTOBER 24TH.   THE HOSPICE GIRL, CASSY  COMES AND BATHS HER AND PUT A RIBBON IN HER HAIR AND THIS PRETTY WHITE GOWN ON..SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE GIRL GOING TO A PARTY..SO I TOLD HER SO!!!

BUT TODAY IS A BAD DAY...NOT UP 2 HOURS AND WANTS TO KNOW WHERE SHE IS...AND " WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME"..SO MUCH ANXIETY....MOM JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON...I KEEP TELLING HER SHE IS HERE WITH ME AND SHE SAYS ' OH I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT'.  BUT 15 MINUTES LATER..SHE FORGETS...HER DEMENTIA IS WORSE THEN EVER....

THE BEST PART OF THE DAY IS THE EVENING...FOR WHATEVER REASON..SHE KNOWS ME..KNOWS SHE IS IN HER ROOM...BUT SHE IS CONFUSED AS TO WHERE SHE HAS BEEN ALL DAY... ' JUDY SO NICE OF YOU TO DROP BY'.  NO MOM, I LIVE HERE WITH YOU...

THIS IS A LONG SAD JOURNEY.  MOM IS GETTING SO BAD.  SHE HARDLY PARTICIPATES IN THE DAY AS SHE USED TO..DOES ONLY WHAT WE MAKE HER DO..EMPTY DISHWASHER SILVERWARE..COUNTS THE PLACES WHERE A SPOON GOES, BUT WE TRY TO KEEP HER BUSY LIKE THIS..I DON'T WANT HER JUST SITTING HERE ALL DAY...

I HAVE ONE CAREGIVER WHO PURPOSELY STRAIGHTENS DRAWERS..WILL TAKE EVERYTHING OUT..AND MAKE MOM TELL HER WHAT THE ITEM IS AS SHE PUTS IT BACK..MAKES FOR A GOOD TIME WITH MOM..AND NICE ORGANIZED DRAWERS!!!!

MOM SAYS ' ITS A MIXED UP WORLD'.  YES MOM..AND YOUR IN IT. SADLY

GOD BLESS MOLLIE

FROM MARCH UNTIL AUGUST 2011

WELL...ITS A HOT DAY. MOM IS WEARING A NEW DRESS CAROLYN SENT HER..ACTUALLY HAD IT MADE FOR HER...SHE IS STILL IN BED..BUT NOT FOR LONG.  WE GET HER UP, GET HER BATHED..AND GET HER TO BREAKFAST..NO SLEEPING IN BED FOR HIS YOUNG LADY. ( SHE TELLS ME ..JUDY..I AM JUST AN OLD LADY..AND I SAY...WELL..NOT THAAAAAAAAAAT OLD)!!

AND FOR SURE NOT TOO OLD TO GET HER HAIR DONE.   NOTHING FEELS BETTER THEN A NEW HAIR DO...........ITS HARD TO TAKE MOM OUT.  TAKES TWO OF US...SHE IS DEAD WEIGHT...WE HAVE TO PACK LIKE WE DO FOR A BABY..CLEAN CLOTHES IN CASE OF ACCIDENT..PANTS, ETC...WATER..SOMETHING TO EAT...WE JUST NEVER KNOW...AND THEN WE DONT' KNOW IF SHE WILL SIT LONG ENOUGH. LAST TIME HALF WAY THRU SHE SAID ' I AM DONE."...AND WANTED TO GO HOME.  WANTED TO KNOW WHO GOT HER TO THIS SILLY PLACE........BUT THIS TIME..IN THESE PICTURES..SHE ENJOYED IT..NEVER KNOW.

I TRY TO KEEP HER BUSY.  THATS THE NAME OF THE GAME. BUSY.  SO I TAKE HER IN MY STUDIO..SHOW HER MY NEW ART..BOXES, CANVAS..AND TELL HER TO DESCRIBE IT TO ME...WHO SHOULD WE GIVE IT TO..OPEN IT UP..ETC ETC..ANYTHING TO KEEP THE MIND GOING...YOU CAN SEE IN HER EYES..SHE IS TIRED.  THE DAYS ARE LONG FOR HER....BUT SHE DOESN'T GO TO BED UNTIL 7:30...AND SHE WILL SLEEP UNTIL 10:30 AM. NO NAPS.  NO. EVEN IF I ASK HER..SHE CAN BE TIRED..BUT NO NAPS.  THATS THE STRONG BODY AND MIND IN THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE!! ME?  SURE GIVE ME A NAP!!!

 AND AS HARD AS IT WAS TO GET HER TO THE HAIRDRESSER..HERE SHE IS..AND YOU CAN TELL SHE IS FEELING GOOD.  TIRED.  BUT GOOD.  I WISH I COULD TAKE HER OUT MORE..BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE..HARD TO GET HER INTO THE CAR..AND OUTAGAIN INTO HER WHEELCHAIR...JUST WHEN YOU THINK SHE DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT OR WHERE YOUR GOING ..SHE WILL SAY ' JUDY LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL TREES'.  ITS THEN YOU REALIZE HOW CONFINED THEY ARE!

NOW ITS AUGUST.  SHE IS TIRED.  SHE DOES HER FOOT EXERCISES DAILY. NEXT TIME I WILL SEND A PICTURE OF WHAT THAT IS.  AGAIN..KEEPS HER BLOOD MOVING.  I HAVE MOVIES OF IT..BUT NO STILL PICTURES.  AGAIN, YOU NEED TO KEEP THEM BUSY!   I ALSO HAVE HER PLAYING TIC TAC TOE..AND SHE WINS MOST OF THE TIME..AND NOT BECAUSE YOU LET HER...GUESS I NEED MORE PICTURES.

BUT SHE IS TIRED.  HER MIND IS TIRED.  HER BODY IS TIRED.  I ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO SIT ON THE PORCH.  SHE SAYS ' I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.  I AM WAITING FOR THE TRAIN.  THE TRAIN IS COMING TO TAKE ME HOME.

EACH DAY IS DIFFERENT.  EACH DAY IS A BLESSING....FOR WHOM?  IF YOU WOULD ASK HER..ITS NOT FOR HER.  SOME DAYS I AM ' MISS'  AND SOME DAYS SHE KNOWS ME...

I WILL TRY TO KEEP UP THE BLOG MORE OFTEN AND SEND YOU MORE PICTURES AND IDEAS ON HOW TO KEEP THEIR MINDS AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE.

BUT SHE WAKES EVERY MORNING..WITH A SMILE.  NOT SURE HOW SHE DOES IT.MAYBE BECAUSE SHE HAS FORGOTTEN SHE ISN'T GOING TO WALK OUT OF THAT BED???????????

MOM IS 96...DEMENTIA OR NOT..SHE SEEMS TO KEEP GOING

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.  YOU WILL SEE SOME CHANGES SINCE LAST PICTURES.  SINCE I STARTED THE BLOG I NEEDED TO GO BACK TO SOME PICTURES 18 MONTHS AGO...SO YOU CAN TAKE THIS JOURNEY WITH HER.    WE TOOK HER OUT FOR HER BIRTHDAY..SOMETHING SPECIAL SINCE ITS BEEN SO HOT IN ARIZONA...BALLOONS, FOOD ETC AND THEN IN THE EVENING WHEN I REMINDED HER IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY..AND ALL THE FUN  ' WE' HAD..SHE SAYS ' AND YOU FORGOT TO TAKE ME?.........NO MOM...DEMENTIA..TOOK YOU!

2009 to 2010

well its been a tough tough year and 1/2.....here mom is still at copper village...life seems good, she has fallen...but had a plate put in her femer..and was in a wheelchair.....but...even with therapy she forgot...and tried to get up..an fell and broke her collar bone.  after that she was afraid to get up..could not do exercises...could not walk with walker..and the collar bone break..really did her in...after that..she never wanted to walk and still doesn't!

you see pictures like this and wonder..how fast she went downhill...but it was mostly after the fall...here she is in her bedroom at copper village...she was so active until she fell...walked about 30 times around the park..mom never sat down for long!

On the porch at copper. i went there every day..we would have lunch together...again i am amazed this is just over a year ago....

i also would bring her to my home.to my studio.  I would have her rewind the ribbons..anything.  she would say..boy what a bunch of junk here!!!  but it was nice to see her and have her here.  especially since we could carry on a converrsation..and she understood more then she didnt' understand...

and then. one day..she said she had pain in her legs.  they gave her morphine.  it knocked her out...i thought she was dying...so i said she wont' die here..and i took her home.

 So..she came to my house on in february  2009. For what we thought would be termporary!

but..when she seemed to get better and we took her back to copper village...the whole world came to an end

i found out the morphine was too much..took her off..and she AWOKE!.   SO.   we took her back to copper village but they had given her room away  ....no they didnt' say that.  they said...cottage 4 wasn't the right cottage anymore...cottages are by level of dementia.  they moved her..not to 6..or 7...but to 10!!!

wish i had pictures of that. but not allowed for the other patients.  these patients were in full blown alzheimers...they didn't communicate..didn't play cards..were not allowed outside to walk...and there were male caregivers...mom was NOT incontinent...she would never ever have a man help her with her pants etc....I was furious. After their lack of watching her..she had fallen twice.  she was in a wheelchair..and this was the best they could do for her.............STAY TUNED!